Yes, I did it. I partook in childish antics and it surely did bring out the worst/best in me. Party hoping from one hip kats hip pad to the next. Jumping from a particular scenesters' association annual July 4th business bbq party to another, I got to scope out the latest in ridiculous outfits and "unisex" apparel. From budweiser tank tops, guys in tie dyed onesies, girls in cut off guys shorts, guys in cut off girls shorts, every color t-shirt other than black, shirts and sweaters once thought uncool and stored away in your child hood memories trunk, thought to have been boxed up for the rest of eternity now unveiled once again 20 years later proving that now a days, you can wear a sweatshirt so small it fits like a t-shirt. On that "t-shirt" it is also super cool to have those super amazing uber cool yet lame (or should it be worded the other way around) graphic prints of coyotes and florida tourists landmarks from the 80's. 70's mustaches, fingerless racing gloves, body oder deodorant (or is that just sweat?), silly hats, and your mothers slippers are all the pinnacle of cool this month. Apparently it is a fashion faux pas to not look like a burned out oompa loopma.
Chihuahuas are no longer "hot." Wiener dogs and bull dogs, yorkies and mutts, all go well with those cut off shorts that accentuate your butt. Guys and girls please be aware of this fashion accessory. Mind you however, a slobbering English Bulldog will definitely ruin those retro "pee-wee" model nikes you paid 200 dollars for on ebay. Dog spit and suede are not a good mixture. However, drunk girls in gold metallic bathing suits that blind you in the sun sitting on the edge of inflatable pools are a great source of comical entertainment! It is also a great way to water or rather flood your lawn and soak any poor souls oversized pleather purse that may have made the mistake of leaving it on the patio.
Bikes are the only source of transportation amongst this new found people. From colonial town to the depths of primrose ct we find ourselves in the midst of a battle field. While we may have approach the enemy during their RNR, they were quick to drop their glow in the dark frisbees and nerf balls. With a few swigs off the Shipyard brewing Van's install beer taps, the fight ensued. Bottle Rockets, firecrackers, and more bottle rockets were the main choice of arsenal. Thanks to my friend Anthony supplying me at the front of the lines, I was able to wreak havoc amongst my peers busy drinking their beers. Double-crossing my arms supplier made for great laughs. A particularly place bottle rocket in his satchel draped over his shoulders filled with armaments definitely created a spectacular sight of fear which lead to the hardest laughs I have had in quite some time. Anthony definitely resembled doing an ancient african tribal rain dance before he finally ditched the bag. Lit Bottle Rockets placed in the pockets of tipsy and unknowing victims was also a tactic used by us mischief makers. There were however causulaties of war. One being my t-shirt. Friendly fire is to blame. My own to be exact. A discharged lit wick blown back from the rockets blast propelled its way onto my right lat and began to burn my shirt and thus my skin leaving my enemies laughing hysterically at my misfortune. Lucky us idiots, no one lost a finger or an eye.
The night ended off with a bang of conversations. Fueled by my lack of a better choice of words, the use of particular racist expressions set off a few PC white people. Thus led to the thesis of the night; Rap of today is negatively influencing the majority of people through glorifying ignorance. While I was able to have a discussion which led to an equally agreed upon conversation with my black friend, my white peers still could not see where I was coming from. I blame it on the levels of intoxication, obviously not on my part. However, people realized that I truly am not as stupid as I come across. Respect was gained by many all while Ranyell was spitting beer on a girl and peeing on her in the kiddie pool. A battle of American Minority Gladiators jousting with expelled liquids slamming each other down into the kiddie pool full of pee water splashed us innocent bystanders. We were not pleased, but the fight card for the night was definitely worth being in Shamu's splash zone.
It was a gloomy day at first, but after the rain finally moved on, the heavens opened up with a beautiful sunset, and the skies lit up dancing in every direction. Mischief, smiles, fireworks, good conversation, and pleasant evening rides were a good end to the day. A boy surely can get quite exhausted from having fun. I suppose I could leave the house more often if times like these were guaranteed.
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